I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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