do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
