Soap is not a condiment
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
