Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
