A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
