bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Randomize
