Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
