he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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