In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
