I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
