My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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