i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
