I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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