this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
