i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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