but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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