they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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