I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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