You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize