i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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