I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
