Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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