Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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