her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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