she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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