OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
