Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
