I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Help. Why am I so naked?
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