Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize