so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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