She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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