Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
