real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
