dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize