I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
