Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
