It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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