its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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