all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize