Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
