WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
