Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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