I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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