My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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