You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize