I accidentally burped into my bong.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
