i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize