Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
