i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
