my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
