Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
