I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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