You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
