Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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