Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
