His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
