White coat. Heels.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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