He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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